If the dominant person continues to interrupt or refuses to let go of the conversation, remain calm and polite while reminding them of their behavior being inappropriate. Just smile and enjoy the chips. Lately I can't stand when my husband talks in social situations. Lean away from the person, avoid eye contact, dont touch them. Narcissists are notorious conversation interrupters. Or perhaps youre at a family gathering, and youve been seated next to a relative you really adore, but who tends to maintain a conversation thats almost entirely one-sided. You can either respond with the shift-response (as in shifting the attention back to yourself), or the support- response (keeping the attention on the speaker and topic they introduced). The other person is leaning back, giving them all these cues but they dont pick them up. So lets get down to the nuts and bolts. Conversational narcissists are energy vampires who can leave us feeling weak, emotionally fragile, depressed, anxious, and exhausted. It might seem rude, but its incredibly reasonable. It could have to do with region, ethnic background or just different ideas about how to make conversation, not with pathology or bad intentions., She cites a couple, the man a New Yorker, the woman a Midwesterner, on a first date: He was doing all the talking and she was thinking really negatively about him, Dr. Tannen recalls. Dear Amy: My husband and I have three children. and 5 ways to finally, and fully, pursue our own happiness. Communication is no doubt one of the hardest parts of sustaining a healthy marriage. We give them the benefit of the doubt because we believe they truly love no one who truly loves us would purposely say or do anything to hurt our feelings and us. If you want to stop the other persons flow, you can signal your desire to end the conversation by ending your contributions to it. The support-response keeps attention on the speaker and on the topic he or she has introduced. Then shift the focus to yourself, say I had a similar experience or Heres what I want to talk about., Dont make assumptions: In general, Dr. Tannen suggests not leaping to immediate conclusions. Ordinarily, organisms including ourselves will match their behavior to the available reinforcers. Most conversational narcissists careful not to appear rude will mix their support and shift responses together, using just a few more shift-responses, until the topic finally shifts entirely to them. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. Counting slowly to seven after you finish a thought can help you see if the other person wants a word. With practice, you really can learn to talk less, says Dr. McCroskey, drawing on her own experience.
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